33 Weeks: Heavy and Tired

In pregnancy, there really comes a point where in you feel tired already. True enough, I am actually experiencing it right now. At 33 weeks, I feel very, very heavy and tired of this pregnancy. My mom and aunts even told me that I'm the crankiest pregnant girl they have ever encountered. Hey, its not that I do it on purpose nor do I like it a bit. I just can't help it. From 110 lbs pre-pregnancy weight, I am now a whopping 152 lbs as of my last check up, and with that I am on a very strict less or preferably no-rice diet. I can't stand the summer heat either. I tell you, I sweat like crazy even if I'm just sitting still, and that annoys me a lot. To make things worse, my skin is breaking out, everything seems to be getting dark (armpits, neck, etc...) and nothing fits anymore - including my shoes! I just want to give birth and be done with it. I can't wait to drink coffee and tea again. I can't wait to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I can't wait to go swimming and wear a bikini. I can't wait to wear killer high heels. I can't wait to have my hair color and treatment. I just can't wait to be back to my old self again. I know it sounds so selfish of me to think this way, and I'm really sorry if I sound so shallow, it's just that I feel like I'm losing myself these days. Don't get e wrong, I love my baby very much and I don't regret having him for one bit, but I just want to see him face to face so that I can start taking care of him already and then take care of myself too. Haysh, I soo hate these pregnancy hormones! It's just driving me nuts!

On a lighter note, My OB said that we're already on homestretch. She even comended me for just gaining 2lbs last time. She said that I just continue to eat healthy, do more walking exercises for easier labor and that I can give birth first or second week of June. We're almost there Bonchon! Are you excited to see me too?

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

The Quest for Breast Pumps

I have made the decision to exclusively breastfeed my baby for as long as I can. Sadly, I’m not getting that much support from my family – particularly my mom and aunts. They keep on saying that I would my milk supply won’t be able to suffice my baby because; 1. I am a working mom, 2. My baby is a big boy and needs more milk compared to that of a baby girl. It’s kind of frustrating to hear that especially from your own mother. Anyway, I just shrugged it off and told her that I will still try my best to exclusively breastfeed my child whether they like it or not. The only consolation I got is that V is very supportive of this idea. Think about the nutrients that my baby will be getting from my milk and of course the moolah that we’ll be saving since we’re not buying any formula milk – we all know how expensive formula milk is – so the more we can save for baby, the better.

Now, I know it’s not that easy. For one, I have inverted nips, so that alone serve as big challenge for me. So what’s a mom like me got to do? Lo and behold! there are breast pumps, which I think would really help me on my quest to breastfeed my baby. The problem is, there are a lot of them and as a first time mom, I am totally clueless as what should be the specifications of a good and efficient breast pump. Well, I only have three concerns; 1. It should be efficient in expressing milk, 2. It should be sturdy but breast friendly as well (meaning it would not hurt my boobies), 3. It should be within reasonable budget. Unfortunately, I haven’t found one yet. Sure, I would die to have the Avent electric breast pump. The product reviews were really impressive, but I have to admit that at this point their price is still waaaaay beyond my budget. There are also brands like Medela, Lansinoh, Chicco and a lot more – waaaah, so many to choose from.

For mom’s out there, any suggestions for a very good electric and manual breast pump? I would really, really appreciate your help! TIA! J

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

 

Twenty-One Weeks: Baby Names

Hello Baby!

You’re dad and I have been arguing a lot lately. Don’t worry, its nothing really serious, we’re just having a hard time deciding what name were going to give you. We always had this feeling that you are a baby girl because you’re so tiny that even at 20 weeks; my baby bump still does not show. Mommy wanted to incorporate daddy’s name to your name, your dad refused the first time, but when I told him that I wanted to name you Yvonne (from your dad’s name, Vonne), he kind of agreed. So we decided to name you Adrianna Kristiane Yvonne, "Aky" for short.

We had another scan on your 21^st week (5^th month). We were so excited because aside from having a congenital anomaly scan (to check if there are any abnormalities), it’s now the time to know what your gender is – in our case, we wanted to confirm if we were having a girl. Until the time I went inside the scanning room, I was convinced that I was carrying a girl, so imagine my face when the Sonologist told me that you are a bouncing baby boy! And no, you are not tiny, you have very long arms and legs! I was just in awe for a good 3 minutes, thinking that we can’t name you Yvonne if you are a boy! You’re dad was actually making fun of me. I can see from his face how excited and happy he is. He kept on mumbling how you would inherit his toys, that you’ll be his Robin (BTW, you’re dad thinks he's Batman), and how you will be spending a lot of time together.

After absorbing everything, I was the happiest girl in the whole world. I’m having a baby boy and a healthy one for that. I guess, we just have to think of another name for you.

Love,

Your mom

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

 

Fourteen Weeks: Hospitalized

Dear Baby,

January 5, 2012, your daddy rushed us to the emergency room of the Makati Medical Center because of light bleeding and extreme abdominal pain. I was advised not to take these symptoms lightly because I have a low lying placenta. I was actually expecting that we would be back home the same night but it seems that we had to stay a couple of more days in the hospital for constant monitoring. Mommy has been losing a lot of weight and daddy is getting worried that you might not be getting enough nutrients. Daddy and I were so scared of losing you so we had to follow the doctor’s orders of staying in the hospital for 4 more days with complete bed rest – no bathroom privileges. Mommy’s medicine was also inserted through IV. You know baby, mommy has always been terrified of needles, but I’m ready to endure everything just to make sure that you are safe. Your daddy has been having sleepless days and nights – he even had to miss work because he wanted to make sure that we are both ok. I think he’s doing a great job of taking care of us, don’t you agree with me baby? I’m just happy that he is beside us all throughout this ordeal.

Love,

Your mom

PS: It’s good to know that you’re perfectly fine in my tummy. We are very much excited to see you!

 

 

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

 

Wedding of the Fabulous Kim and Rachel

On December 17, 2011, we attended one of my very good friend’s wedding in Calaruega. I was a part of their entourage and I am almost 3 months pregnant. Dinner reception was held at the Nuture Spa, in Tagaytay City. It was one of the most beautiful weddings I ever attended. My friend Rachel, the bride was very stunning on her simple but elegant wedding gown. I could not help but somehow envision my own wedding someday. But of course, the baby is our priority and my only concern that moment was how thankful I am that I was able to fit in my own gown. You see, at three months, I don’t have any signs of the baby bump yet.

The bride and the groom

Candle, veil and cord sponsors. (That's me on the outer left part of the picture, no baby bump yet at 3 months)

Very nice backdraft made by the best man if I remember it correctly.

And this is me lighting the candle

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

 

Eight Weeks: Placenta Previa

 

Due to the sub-chorionic hemorrhage that I had on my 5^th week, my gynecologist requested a repeat scan after 2 weeks of medication. The first trimester gave me a very hard time. Morning all day sickness was a pain. I felt obliged to eat for the baby yet I could not eat anything because I would eventually throw up. A lot of times I had to skip work because I really just wanted to sleep the entire day.

On my eight week, it was good to hear that the hemorrhage is already gone! Yey baby! However, we have yet to receive more bad news – the hemorrhage may be gone, but I was now diagnosed with a low lying placenta or placenta previa. This means I need 2 more weeks of total bed rest and that activities should be limited. Sexual contact was still not allowed. The doctor also told me to monitor any bloody discharge and/or abdominal pain that I may have, and if this happens she ordered that I go to the emergency room ASAP. It sounded scary.

When we got home, I immediately researched more about Placenta Previa so that I would be able to further understand my situation. I found this:

Placenta praevia (placenta previa AE) is an obstetric complication in which the placenta is attached to the uterine wall close to or covering the cervix.^[1] It can sometimes occur in the later part of the first trimester, but usually during the second or third. It is a leading cause of antepartum haemorrhage (vaginal bleeding). It affects approximately 0.5% of all labours.

Placenta praevia is hypothesized^[who?] to be related to abnormal vascularisation of the endometrium caused by scarring or atrophy from previous trauma, surgery, or infection.

In the last trimester of pregnancy the isthmus of the uterus unfolds and forms the lower segment. In a normal pregnancy the placenta does not overlie it, so there is no bleeding. If the placenta does overlie the lower segment, as is the case with placenta praevia, it may shear off and a small section may bleed.

Placenta previa is classified according to the placement of the placenta:

• Type I or low lying: The placenta encroaches the lower segment of the uterus but does not infringe on the cervical os.
• Type II or marginal: The placenta touches, but does not cover, the top of the cervix.
• Type III or partial: The placenta partially covers the top of the cervix
• Type IV or complete: The placenta completely covers the top of the cervix

 

 

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

　

 

Five Weeks

 

I had my first ultrasound on the 5th week of my pregnancy. Hearing my baby’s tiny heartbeat was so surreal. I cannot believe that life is actually inside my tummy. I was so happy to know that the baby is alive, but it was cut short when the OB- Sonologist commented that I have sub-chorionic hemorrhage. Daddy and I were confused and asked what that meant, but for some reason the sonologist said that its best that we just ask and consult or doctor about it. After getting the results of the scan, we hurriedly went to Makati Med, where our OB Gynecologist is a resident doctor. It was a good thing that It was just across the street, we were able to still catch her clinic hours that day because we did not have an appointment yet.

We met our pretty doctor and she explained what a sub-chorionic hemorrhage is. She said that I have a very sensitive pregnancy, but what I love about her is she assured me that given the meds and the rest that I need, everything will be fine. She gave me 2 types of hormone meds and advised that I go on a 2 week bed rest. The bed rest sounded great because I was already having terrible morning sickness at this time, but it also means lesser income for us. No work, no pay as I am already out of paid leaves. Still, the baby’s safety is our priority, so bed rest it is. Daddy was also advised to avoid any sexual contact until the our doctor gives us the go signal. Daddy was of course saddened by this news, but he had no choice but to follow the doctor’s orders.

Daddy was very caring. I know he has been trying to be strong for me and the baby. The morning sickness and the fact that I could not eat a decent meal were making things worse. I can feel that he wanted to share the pain that we were going through, but of course, he can only do so much. I’m just lucky to have him by my side at this very trying time in my life.

Anyway, enough about the drama and let me show some of my baby’s scan. This is at 5weeks AOG.

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

Positive

Hello Baby,

When mommy first knew that she was conceiving, I must admit that I felt really scared, confused and worried. A lot of questions were running through my head. Will your dad accept us? Will my parents (your grandparents) disown me? Will we able to survive the entire nine months? Should I stop working? How will I tell my boss? Will I be a good mom to you? And so many more questions that some, up to this day are not yet answered.

Well, we are very lucky, your dad accepted us without any doubt. I know that even if he rarely says it, he loves you very much. I know that our setup today is very much different from what society dictates, but we are happy and very much willing to give you all the love and care in the whole world. And I know in time, when both of us are ready, we will be able to give you the family that you rightfully deserve.

Your grandparents are no different. They are very much excited to see you. Being their first grandchild, they’re getting ready for your arrival – especially your grandma, who by the way does not want to be called grandma, but "mamita" and I’m just like, whatever ma. LOL.

Tita Gie and Tita April are equally excited as well. Tita Gie will be giving you a stroller so that you will be able to go around town easily. On the other hand, your Tita April will be giving you your crib. But I think the most excited person (aside from mom and dad, of course) is your Kuya Kyle. He can’t wait to share you his toys and push your trolley. He is sooo anxious to meet you that he wants you to come out next week. But please, baby I beg you, we still have a couple of weeks to go, I don’t want you being born pre-mature.

Now, about me being a good mom to you, we still have to see once you come out. It’s my first time you see, so pardon your mommy if there will be times that I will be crying because I would not know what to do, but I just pray that and hope that I will be the best mom to you.

Love,

Your Mama

PS

I can’t wait to see you! J

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."

A New Chapter

Almost 8 months ago, I never really cared much about other things nor other people except for myself. I was having the time of my life. I had the most fun friends, a nice job, a cool friend/boyfriend and most of all a very loving and supportive family. Everything was fine but it turned out even better. I found out that I am going to be a mom. Can you imagine that? Me? being a mom. It never crossed my mind that I would be one at that point of my life. At first it was crazy and then suddenly, everything changed. My priorities, my beliefs and even my lifestyle, it drastically changed because of this little life inside me that needs to be nourished and taken care of.

Now that I am almost 32 weeks pregnant (a few more weeks and I'll finally get to meet my little one), I decided to start writing again. I wanted to document every little step of this pregnancy and of course every little milestone that my little "bonchon" will be making once he comes into this world. But for now, I can only wait and pray that I would be a good mom and hopefully partner for my soon to be mini family. Hope you enjoy reading my new blog.  

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back."